M-m-m-My Corona part 12. Doorbells & Doorknobs.

 Today was teeth day, having completed five sides of a pre-visit questionnaire before attending, and remembering the instruction not to touch the doorbell on arrival as they would come out to receive me, hand sanitizers locked and loaded

There are no waiting rooms in the new normal. Once inside, I took up position on the hallway tiles designated spot for my temperature check, involving a strange Star Trek device which apparently gleans all the information it requires from shooting a beam of light two meters from my forehead. It informed me my temperature is slightly low, but it didn’t prevent me from being able to move on and into the treatment room; the one which never lives up to its name as there are never ever any treats.

Somewhere beneath all the hulking layers of protective plastic stood the dentist I’ve known since 1975, and her assistant. It was impossible to distinguish which was which, or to interpret what their masked voices were saying. They resembled dastardly scientists from a 1950s sci-fi movie, eager to strap me down and set to with the neatly arranged instruments close by. And what if it wasn’t my actual dentist at all? Bracing myself for whatever fate had in store, I mounted The Chair and opened wide…

Happily, my check-up was completed with efficiency and speed, (I have the best dentist), and I even remembered to exit without touching those doorknobs. Nevertheless, on arriving home I still considered immersing my entire body in a bath tub of hand sanitiser, just as a precaution you understand.

I don’t think I’m ready to risk the pub quite yet.

All text copyright Ian Gordon Craig.

#figurejuly 2020

 

 Figure July was a Twitter art challenge.

All artwork, copyright Ian Gordon Craig.

M-m-m-My Corona part 11, into the New Normal.

 Have you all got your cam-chat backdrops sorted out? No, not the screens on your cell phone or computer, but what you choose to strategically place behind you when you’re on camera. I think you need to, now we are entering the New Normal.

The default choice in England (can’t speak for the rest of the UK), would appear to be bookshelves. Especially for politicians. Every time I see an interview now on the T.V. they all have rows and rows of books lined up behind them. I can imagine them barking orders to their assistants: “Get me some books! Lots of them!” So, don’t choose books. It’s been done. Not to mention the fact, with HD pictures, people can easily read the titles of whatever it is you’re into. I think at least one politician got caught out with some reading matter regarded as dodgy.

Not sure what I’ll be choosing, if at all. The only webcam I have is one of those crazily wide-angle things on my laptop. In fact, it’s SO wide angle I have to practically scrub and tidy my entire house before I dare turn it on. But be sure you will be judged by your cam-chat backdrop, just as surely as you were once judged by the manner and style of your dress.

Something for you to be thinking about.

 All text, pros, poetry & artwork, copyright Ian Gordon Craig.